Indistinct Mumblings of an Unsound Mind

Alright folks, lets be serious for a minute.

I would highly suggest downloading one of the following applications like, iDrinkulator for iPhone or AlcoDroid for Android. The human body can metabolize a BAC of .016 in one hour. A BAC of .05 takes 3.75 hours to process down to 0. Anything at .08 or higher takes 5 hours to metabolize completely.

Fat, thin, it doesn’t really matter – our metabolic rate is the same. Yes, if you’re fatter it takes a bit longer for the effect to be felt, but the rate at which your body can get rid of it is the same for everyone. So keep track of it. Personal responsibility is the best way to ensure no one unfit gets on the road.

That, and getting a designated driver. One that will not be drinking. At all. Don’t look at me like that. Emergencies happen, and a lot of people drive while intoxicated because “it was an emergency.” Guess what? That’s still driving.

If your designated driver has been drinking, then I suggest having this number handy: 1.800.222.4357  It’s AAA’s number for their “Tipsy Tow” program. According to their website, from 6 PM on the 31st to 6 AM on the 1st, AAA is providing a one-way tow for up to 10 miles, provided you are going home (or to a hotel/motel, etc). Write the number on your arm, program it in your phone, or tattoo it on your partner’s ass.

If you do call for a cab, use a company that offers a free ride back. I know Discount Cabs does. Basically, if you’re so drunk you can’t make it and you call them for a cab, specifically mention getting a free ride back when you request the taxi. The phone operator gives you a redeemable code and you get a free ride back to your vehicle the next day. Voila!

Hosting a party? You are legally responsible for the people there. LEGALLY. If they leave from your shindig drunk and something happens, you can be damn skippy that a lawyer is going to be contacting you right alongside the police.

Plan ahead. There’s a reason I posted this in the morning. You should be sober (enough) to read this and understand it.

Tonight you have plans. So does everyone else. Let’s not ruin it by killing someone in  an accident caused because your dumb ass was drinking.


Click here for a personal note to those of you that decide to do so despite this information.

Categories: Everyday

Leave a Reply