Indistinct Mumblings of an Unsound Mind

This is a list of (or will be soon) 1001 things I want to do and some of the more awesome things I’ve done.
Things completed are crossed out with a date following them.

Quick Index
– The First 50
– The Second 50
– 100 to 199
– 200 to 299
– 300 to 399
– 400 and up

The First 50

1.) Visit 30 Nations
2.) Visit all 50 United States
-Arizona: 1985
-Louisana: 1994
-Mississippi: 1994
-Alabama: 1994
-Florida: 1994
-California: 1999
-Oklahoma: 2004
-New Mexico: 2005
-Texas: 2005
-Maryland: 2016
-Illinois: 2016
-Missouri: 2016
-Indiana: 2016
-Ohio: 2016
-Pennsylvania: 2016
3.) Visit Mount Rushmore
4.) Walk on the Great Wall of China
5.) Take a Helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon
6.) Go to a Drive in Movie with Lover
7.) Write a Full Album of Music
8.) Run Naked thru a Public Place
9.) Run a Marathon (A full marathon)
10.) Make love in/on a/an Airplane, Cathedral, Beach, Moving Train, Forest, Tape
11.) Sleep a night in a Snow Fort that I’ve built
12.) Watch my kids Graduate
13.) Dive nude off a boat with others
14.) Flatten Coins on a train track
15.) Lie in bed for an entire day without being sick – 12/23/2012
16.) Drunkenly ride a Mechanical Bull
17.) Hit every rollercoaster in Cedar Point and Kings Island in one trip
18.) Grow a vegetable garden
19.) Go camping without any provisions
20.) Have a meaningful conversation with three different beggars – 08/16/2011
21.) Adopt an accent for two weeks
22.) Take an enormous road trip with my friends
23.) Win a Karaoke contest
24.) Start a business
25.) Write my congressman on all the issues I see as pertinent
26.) Be a sperm donor  – 09/02/2009
27.) Have my picture in the newspaper – 1990-ish
28.) Dye my hair an outlandish color, and keep it that way for a month.
29.) Live abroad
30.) Be able to do 110 pushups in a row again
31.) Write 10 letters of thanks for good products or customer service – 2/22/2011
32.) Climb a tree that is over 100’ tall. – 1998
33.) Go to a Harlem Globetrotters game
34.) Put on a stage production / performance – 2001, 2002, 2003
35.) See the Northern Lights
36.) Yell, “I’m mad as Hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!” in a crowded area – 04/01/2003
37.) Learn to say the Alphabet backwards, really fast.
38.) Research the creation a one-world religion based on tolerance
39.) Meet someone from the internet in the real world – 11/30/2009 (Michael “Breve Mike” Carlisle)
40.) Fast for a week straight
41.) Tutor a student – 03/28/2007
42.) Build a working piece of furniture
43.) Get professionally certified in 3 things – 2008 (A+, RIM, Windows Mobile, Lucent, Motorola)
44.) Converse with a parrot – 5/22/2012 – We now own two conures.
45.) Learn a programming language – 11/9/2001 (PHP)
46.) Have a famous celebrity Tweet / ReTweet me – 07/19/2012 – Michael Scott
47.) Literally RIP the clothes off a lover’s body.
48.) Host an outdoor Barbeque
49.) Be on Television
50.) Take the day off to watch a FULL solar eclipse

The Second 50

51.) Shower in the Rain
52.) Visit a planned community
53.) Learn Tai Chi Cheung – 8/16/2014
54.) Throw a huge party and invite Everyone
55.) Have my portrait painted
56.) Grow a full beard – 11/30/2011
57.) Donate my hair – 03/10/2004
58.) Become completely ambidextrous
59.) Go camping in the Rockies
60.) Build a treehouse, complete with refrigerator.
61.) Swim in a waterfall – 10/22/2015, Supai Falls, Mooney Falls, Beaver Falls, AZ
62.) Swim in a fountain
63.) Spend 3 months doing strenuous exercise and manual labor
64.) Learn to juggle
65.) Go to Oktoberfest in Munich
66.) Swim with dolphins
67.) Swim with sharks
68.) Volunteer for at least a month in a 3rd world country – 6/4/1998, Volunteered in Hermosillo, Mexico
69.) Audition for a James Bond role
70.) Civilian Skydiving
71.) Bungee Jump
72.) Go backpacking through all of Europe
73.) Top out on the Salt Flats in Utah
74.) Publish a Children’s Book
75.) Bike across the United States (The Lower 48)
76.) Take the kids on a Jeep Tour in Sedona – 1/29/2015, Pink Jeep Tours in Sedona, AZ
77.) Go on a Safari
78.) Get your pilot’s license
79.) Buy and rent out a vacation property
80.) Build a vehicle with parts from the Junkyard.
81.) Learn to Sail (Sailboat)
82.) Climb a huge tree, pitch a hammock, and sleep there
83.) Go Spelunking
84.) Spend time with the elderly, find out what their bucketlists are, help them finish
85.) Get my Masters in Library Sciences
86.) Build a greenhouse for my Garden
87.) Learn Transcendental Meditation
88.) Play a full game of Monolopy – 9/12/2015 With Luke and Amaris on Xbox One
89.) Visit the Giant Buddah in Japan (Leshan Tian Tan Zhangye)
90.) Go Skiing in the Alps
91.) Become a decent Freerunner
92.) Explore the catacombs under a city in Europe
93.) Two words: Cliff Diving.
94.) Become SCUBA certified and go diving
95.) Go Hot air Balloning
96.) Wrestle an Alligator
97.) Visit the Lourve
98.) Hug a Tree
99.) Revisit the Rocky Horror Picture Show

100 to 199

100.) Go to the National Archives in DC
101.) Go to Portugal – Why not?
102.) Go Snorkeling off the Great Barrier Reef
103.) Eat Fugu
104.) Surfing in California – 03/14/2015
105.) Visit real castles in England, France, Germany, and Ireland
106.) Targa. Sounds fun.
107.) Tour the M&M factory
108.) Trek the Inca Trail
109.) Tour the Mayan Ruins
110.) Buy a big-screen TV – 9/5/2012
111.) Witness a live Space Shuttle Launch
112.) Visit Lego Land
113.) Visit Disneyland
114.) Visit Disney World
115.) Visit Knottsberry Farm
116.) Visit Euro-Disney
117.) Visit that new Harry Potter Theme Park
118.) Visit the DC Comics HQ
119.) Visit the Marvel Comics Studios
120.) Check out the computer labs at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, future birthplace of HAL-9000.
121.) Go to the Superman Festival in Metropolis, IL
122.) Visit the respective castles that inspired Frankenstein and Dracula.
123.) Build your own lightsaber.
124.) Visit Riverside, Iowa, future birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk.
125.) Go to an underground sing-along screening of the Buffy Musical.
(When Buffy is outlawed, only outlaws will sing-along to Buffy.)
126.) Kick Eric Clapton’s ass in “Guitar Hero.”
127.) Make a pilgrimage to the Ernest Hemingway Home and Museum in Key West,Florida, and pet his six-toed cats.
128.) Meet and greet with Joss Whedon or J.K. Rowling. Extra points if you achieve a two-fer.
129.) Correct Alex Trebek on the pronunciation of something French. Consequently hold him when he cries.
130.) Bring a Jaccuzi, and electric generator to top of snowy, frozen mountain.
131.) Gozerog.com
132.) Tell someone exactly how much of a difference they’ve made – 12/5/2012 – Jim Butcher
133.) Do something from incredible-adventures.com
134.) Finish the entire list of movies to see before I die
135.) Roll on my side down a grassy bank
136.) Make a Mud pie and start a mud fight
137.) Make my own Modeling Dough
138.) Make Perfume from Flower Petals
139.) Grow Cress on a windowsill
140.) Make a Papier-mache mask
141.) Build a Massive Sandcastle
142.) Dig a den out in the yard
143.) Make a painting using my hands and feet
144.) Organize a Teddy Bear Picnic
145.) Have my face painted
146.) Bury someone in the sand, make them a sculpture – 3/18/2105
147.) Make homemade bread 1x/week for 3 months
148.) Make a clay sculpture
149.) Take part in a Scavenger Hunt
150.) Run a 10k
151.) Bake a nice cake for no reason
152.) Take care of Farm Animals for awhile
153.) Discern, pick, and eat wild berries
154.) Learn to pick out bird species and fauna
155.) Find WORMS!
156.) Ride a bike in the rain, and then do it again in the mud afterwards
157.) Make and fly a kite
158.) Plant Trees!
159.) Make breakfast in bed for someone special
160.) Make a mini-assault course in your yard
161.) Take pictures of strangers holding hands
162.) Spend time with a dying person, listening to them
163.) Go to a protest, complete with sign.
164.) Make an Educational Plaque
165.) Learn to dance salsa and Tango
166.) Learn Accordion
167.) Learn to cook Thai, Italian, Portuguese, and Chomorran properly
168.) Go to Madrid and visit the Prado Museum
169.) Visit the Forbidden City in Beijing
170.) Trip on the transmongolian express
171.) Skating Lessons
172.) Visit the National Gallery
173.) Visit every work of DaVinci that is on Public Display
174.) Take 2 courses on photography
175.) Take 2 courses on art history
176.) Visit the Keukenhof
177.) See the Queens in person (Dutch and English)
178.) Visit the Pierpont Morgan Library
179.) Visit Venice
180.) Eat Thai in Thailand
181.) Visit Tibet in fall, stay through winter
182.) Visit New England in Fall
183.) Visit Glasgow in Summer and Winter
184.) Visit Andalusia
185.) Own an Espresso Machine
186.) Do a Mud Run October 20th, 2012 (Placed 293/797 – Racerite)
187.) Learn to play Guitar properly
188.) Visit Capetown
189.) Drive across Canada
190.) Climb my local mountains
South Mountain: 8/18/2012
Camelback: 9/1/2012
Papago: 9/8/2012
Piestewa Peak: 11/15/2014
Lookout Mountain: 11/15/2014
Shaw Butte: 11/15/2014
Holbert Trail: 11/15/2014
Apache Vista: 11/15/2014
191.) Learn to write my name in Japanese
192.) Visit the Hermitage museum in St. Petersburg
193.) Visit Edinburg
194.) Get a Photograph I have taken enlarged and hang it
195.) Kiss my beau goodnight in Paris
196.) Take a ride on the London Eye
197.) Visit the Tower of London
198.) Visit MoMa in New York
199.) Visit Guggenheim Museum

200 to 299

200.) Take a trip on the Reunification Express in Vietnam
201.) Visit Hong Kong
202.) Eat Cheesecake in Chicago
203.) Go Island Hopping in Greece
204.) Watch a Cricket Match, and understand it
205.) Visit Iona
206.) Go on a retreat in/with a convent
207.) Travel on a train across Canada
208.) Visit Graceland
209.) Live in Pars for a time
210.) Live in Florence for a time
211.) Visit Venice
212.) Make my own Ice Cream
213.) Ride the Bullet Train in Japan
214.) Visit Kyoto
215.) Buy 3 proper pieces of art
216.) See the Himalayas
217.) Learn Hindi
218.) Circumnavigate the World
219.) Make my own Dulce de Leche
220.) Visit El Escorial, Spain
221.) Visit Toledo
222.) Visit Salamanca
223.) See the Dali Lama in person
224.) Visit Dublin
225.) Worship at a Hindu Temple
226.) Have whisky in Chicago with Poweryogi
227.) Visit the Phillippines
228.) Visit Angkor Wat in Cambodia
229.) Visit Sir John Soane’s Museum in London
230.) Buy a Kurta
231.) Buy ingredients in Chinatown and cook a proper Chinese meal
232.) Meet someone online, get to know them, meet them in person, Make-out with them; and if they have a partner, make out with that person as well. Followed directly by either: Laughing about it, Running like mad hell, or a strangely awkward sexual encounter. (Hopefully and YAY!) – 11/23/2014 (Samantha)
233.) Find and talk with my biological mother 3/31/2013 – She found me on facebook.
234.) Visit the Fondation Henri Catier-Bresson in Paris
235.) Buy Pierre Marcolini Chocolate
236.) Visit a Sikh temple, study for awhile
237.) Visit Shakespeare and Co in Paris
238.) Drive a cabriolet down Route 66
239.) Ride on a Shinkansen train in Japan
240.) Take photos of an Ice Storm
241.) Go on a Blind Date
242.) Serenade someone with a Mariachi Band
243.) Ride a Double Decker Bus
244.) Get tipsy with *good* company
245.) Pay for sex
246.) Go to a fancy health spa
247.) Visit Machu Pichu
248.) Randomly select a stranger and take them out
249.) Get re-certified at Bondurants Raceways
250.) Quit my Job. Permanently.
251.) Attend the Royal Theatre
252.) Visit Barcelona
253.) Plan an evil joke on an entire city
254.) FOOD FIGHT in a restaurant. Bonus points for 5 star.
255.) Climb Mount St. Helens
256.) Go meet my neighbors, invite them in.
257.) Whale watch.
258.) Go to Wales
259.) Visit Latvia
260.) Go to the top of a Lighthouse
261.) Go on a Detoxing Weekend
262.) Beechcombing for driftwood and stones
263.) White-water rafting
264.) Eat a REAL truffle
265.) Hell – Go out with the pigs and find a truffle
266.) Try out reflexology
267.) Go on the Radio as a guest DJ
268.) Watch the Changing of the Guards at Buckingham Palace
269.) Stonehenge
270.) Take a canal boat trip in London
271.) Go to the Notting Hill Carnival
272.) Speaking of Carnivals, Attend Carnival! In Spain
273.) Go to the Portobello Fily Festival
274.) Buy Clogs in Holland
275.) Visit Borough market in London
276.) Mud bath!
277.) Watch one of those Oily Girl fights (Why not?)
278.) Visit Bali
279.) Hang Gliding – 1/21/2016, At Sonoma Wings in Maricopa, AZ
280.) Demolotion Derby
281.) Stay in the Ice Hotel
282.) Go to a Muslim Convention
283.) Visit Westminster Abbey
284.) Watch a ladyboy show, preferably in Bangkok
285.) Stay at the Emirates Palace Hotel
286.) Zorbing
287.) Go Shark Diving in Scotland
288.) Visit Barbados
289.) Go Sea Kayaking
290.) Go to an Italian Opera
291.) Visit Abu Dhabi
292.) Stay in Dubai
293.) Sand Boarding
294.) Check out the Taj Mahal and the Golden Temple
295.) Take the Stairs to the top of the Eiffle Tower
296.) Climb Sydney Harbour Bridge
297.) Visit North and South Island of New Zealand
298.) Run with the Bulls in Pamplona
299.) Soak in the Mud and Waters of the Dead Sea

300 to 399

300.) Tough Mudder February 23, 2013 (Obligatory Headband Pic!)
301.) Go Ice Climbing
302.) Throw a dart at a map and travel there
303.) Monster Truck Ralley! WOOO!
304.) Swim across a large lake, Unassisted.
305.) Laser Light Show at the Planetarium
306.) Take a Bateau Ride on the Seine
307.) Go Heli-hiking or Heli-Skiing
308.) Go Rock Skiing
309.) Eat breakfast from a French Eatery in Hanoi, Vietnam
310.) Join a Country Club
311.) Ride the Staten Island Ferry for the Classic view of Downtown Manhattan
312.) Be part of a Tractor-Pull!
313.) Make the shortest scheduled flight in the world.
314.) Run to the top of the Statue of Liberty
315.) Visit Victoria Falls
316.) Rent a houseboat for a week
317.) See a Jaguar in the wild
318.) Visit nude beaches of Côte D’Azur
319.) Go to the Rio Festival and visit Iguassu Falls
320.) Attempt to Climb Everst
321.) Get really drunk at the bottom when I fail.
322.) Ride the Trans-Siberian Express
323.) Learn basic Circus skills
324.) Windsurfing!
325.) Bathe in the Blue Lagoon in Iceland
326.) Kitesurfing!
327.) Watch a sunrise from Maui’s Mount Haleakala
328.) Visit Antarctica and bring Cocoa to the Scientists
329.) Go to Chichen Itza
330.) Do the Cresta Run
331.) Graffiti a Building – 3/22/1996
332.) Throw a birthday party and invite all the people with the same birthdate and their friends.
333.) Meet someone with the same name as me.
334.) Read the Actual Constitution and Declaration of Independence
335.) Find a cause to be passionate about
336.) Agree to everything (within good reason) asked in the name of charity
337.) Learn to luge
338.) Buy a tankard of Liquid Nitrogen – Have fun
339.) Go to a marketplace and haggle for a good price over something unneeded
340.) Participate in a human testing facility
341.) Get ran over – 8/14/1996
342.) Twice.
343.) Be served tea from the Laoshe Teahouse.
344.) See the Pandas
345.) Hell, take my kids to feed the Pandas
346.) Watch all three Avatar Movies, Dressed up like Uncle Iroh – Well, there was only one made, but I did it.
347.) Take a class in being a Stuntman
348.) Become fashoinable and look good
349.) That is, after looking like Jesus or Moses for a few years – 2006-2011
350.) Get a full time Male Sex Partner, or make my relationship a Trine – 2005
351.) Hold a party where we watch all the episodes of X-Men, the Animated Series
352.) Hold a party where we watch all the episodes of Disney’s Gargoyles
353.) Watch the entire Harry Potter Series in one sitting.
354.) Watch the entire Lord of the Rings Series in one sitting.
355.) While I’m at it, Star Wars as Well, and The Godfather.
356.) Garlic Festival! Woot!
358.) Do the worst thing ever: Mardi Gras in Louisana!
359.) Then go back later and do the historic district when it’s not that time of year.
360.) Be friends to big kittehs! (Either make a Big Cat Refuge, or volunteer at onfe.)
361.) Pumpkin-Boat racing – the extreme sportof gardening!
362.) Break a world record
363.) Meet the creative genius behind somethingevil.com – 7/3/2011
364.) Work on a Cranberry farm for a day
365.) Kiss a celebrity, and a damn hot one at that
366.) Attend the Matsuri Festival of Arizona
367.) Pumpkin Chuckin! Catapult + Pumpkin = AWESOMENESS!
368.) Participate in World Zombie Day
369.) Visit Glasgow, Scotland (United Kingdom)
370.) Get Hung! (body suspension)
371.) Librarian Job – Do it!
372.) Meet Mina Meow!
373.) Have a year where I don’t owe taxes – 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014
374.) Take Kayla to meet my family (Old Man & Old Lady, Ancient One, and Brothers/Sisters) – 2014
375.) Go see the Avatar Movies when they come out – 6/1/2010
376.) Take the kids to see the Grand Canyon – 12/28/2015
377.) Go to a school play
378.) Start volunteering for stagecraft and sound design again
379.) Be in a Porno (Why not?)
380.) Do something other than Tech Support before you hit 30
381.) Attend Zambelli Fireworks Internationale
382.) Check out the World Sand Sculpture Festival
383.) Go LARPing
384.) Pay my SCA dues, and make a hefty donation to cover my back-dues.
385.) Own something nice and expensive.
386.) Donate something expensive to a charity
387.) Take an October trip to Transylvania, Romania
388.) Spend an evening in the Embassy of Bahrain
389.) Tour the country via Motorhome (when I get old, duh!)
390.) Perform with a live band – 9/18/1999
391.) Buy, and use, a Neptunic Shark Suit.
392.) Dance in a crosswalk
393.) Go to a “Pirate’s Fish and Chips” with a group of friends dressed as Ninjas.
394.) Obtain a kiss from Victoria Paege
395.) Create my own phone ROM – 2014 on my Note 3
396.) Buy a device and feel remorseless about it
397.) Treat my kids to an all day pass at golfland/sunsplash – 2014 with Killa!
398.) Get an ebook reader and see if they’re worth their weight
399.) Finally Tell Guillermo to Fuck off and explode on his ass – 8/10/2010

400 to Whatever I am currently stopped

400.) Take a 2 week vacation in the middle of the school year with my kids
401.) Drunkenly stand on a Party Bus while the driver makes a turn.
402.) Ummm, Rent a Party Bus
403.) Visit the ruins at Nan Modal
404.) Visit one of the Ghost Cities of Chernobyl
405.) Win the Newgrange Solstice Lottery
406.) Go see the Living Root Bridges in Cherrapunji, India
407.) Go see a Chippendales show – 02/08/2014
408.) Check some of the works of Lang Baumann in person
409.) Photograph the Dry Valleys in Antartica
410.) Learn Arborsmithing
411.) Ohh, and Rock Balancing, too.
412.) Check out the Glory Hole at Monticello Dam
413.) View an Art Gallery that has the works of Chris Gilmour
414.) Have a Dinner in the Sky
415.) Stick my hand in a Fistulated Cow
416.) Take a gander at the art of Tanbo in Inakadate
417.) Oooohhhh! A Burning Hole called the Door to Hell, in Darvaza, Turkmenistan.
418.) While I’m at it, Grab an O2 tank and visit Centralia, Pennslyvania
419.) Stand in the middle of a large Ice Circle
420.) Go swimming in Jellyfish Lake
421.) Visit the Waitomo Glowworm Cave
422.) Spend a day photographing the Maunsell Army Sea Forts
423.) Read the Memorial Plaque at Tabula Traiana
424.) Walk across the Last Handwoven Bridge
425.) Investigate the Pyramidial-shaped missle silo
426.) Go camping at Dry Tortugas
427.) Look suspicious while touring the Pionen Data Center
428.) Cry like a baby on Hell Night
429.) Make it across the United States using only Social Networks
430.) Go Liquid Mountaineering. Get good at it.
431.) Attend the annual Masturbate-A-Thon in San Francisco
432.) Own a Car/Truck/Van – 8/16/2013 (Bought a PT Cruiser)
433.) Build a Low Impact House and live in it
434.) Check out the Reed Flute Cave
435.) Dark Dining
436.) No Pants Sub Ride – 1/12/2012
437.) Go see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra
438.) Go back to school – 1/17/2012
439.) Get a Marijuana Script
440.) Make a steampunk keyboard.
441.) And a mouse and touchpad to go with it.
442.) Celebrate the Holi festival of colors in India
443.) Do a nighttime photoshoot somewhere that is off-limits.
444.) Walk the Langkawi Sky Bridge
445.) Run a 5k obstacle course
446.) Visit a Black Sand Beach
447.) Learn Irish
448.) Learn Spanish (Latin American)
449.) Learn Arabic
450.) Learn French
451.) Learn Hebrew
452.) Learn Greek
453.) Learn Latin – 8/15/2015
454.) Learn German
455.) Learn Italian
456.) Learn Farsi
457.) Learn Chinese (Mandarin)
458.) Learn Korean
459.) Learn Russian
460.) Learn Welsh
461.) Obtain a service animal
462.) Teach in school – 10/7/2014
463.) See a Red Panda
464.) Pet a Kangaroo
465.) See the Sistine Chapel
466.) Take Swing Dancing Lessons
467.) Tour the  Coke Factory – 7/23/1997
467.) Tour the Wonka Factory
468.) Tour the Ben & Jerry’s Factory
469.) Learn how to set a bone
470.) Learn Basic First Aid for Emergencies – 10/13/2004
471.) Complete my Deviant Achievement List
472.) Own a Ural, Preferably a Gear Up
473.) Run Camelback Mountain (As in run, not climb or hike)
474.) Pay off a vehicle – 9/5/2012
475.) Own a scooter – 9/5/2012
476.) Get an M-Class License
477.) Camp out in a garden
478.) Try a Pilates Class
479.) Spend a Weekend in San Paulo
480.) Get your teeth fixed
481.) De Havilland Rapide Sightseeing over Oxford
482.) Visit Dulwich Picture Gallery
483.) Book a stay at the LesRoulottes
484.) In Boliva, there is a wall of fossil footprints
485.) Sleep in a tent while mountain climbing
486.) Build my dream house
To be continued….